Two minutes to midnight.

I'm back! I must say, it was a real satisfying trip. I'm glad I went for it. Spent loads of time with my family, and I finally realized how much I've been neglecting them.

At Malacca, I had this feeling. Of contentment. Similar to the feelings I had when I was younger. That calm in your heart, without reality rearing its ugly head. Freedom, to actually enjoy yourself without any limits. That special feeling I've been looking for. That inner peace.

On the other hand, as said above, spending time with my family was nice, especially with my younger cousins and my grandparents.

Dear Agony,

Just let go of me

Suffer slowly

Is this the way it's got to be?

I spent a lot of time thinking about The Snickers Conundrum when I was in Malacca. I realized, the lack of progress isn't due to external factors, it's because of my own hesitance.

I kept making excuses, "valid reasons" to why I didn't do anything when the opportunity was staring right at me.

"Oh, she's always with her group, it'll be awkward"

"She's talking to blahblah now, I can't just charge in like that"

"I'm not that close to her, it'll be weird if I just start a conversation like that"

After a while, there's no more inner conversations that I can have with myself; inner debates on whether I should go or not.

I kept thinking that there's always something there to hinder my progress. But what if there's nothing there, and I'm just looking for a reason to hesitate?

Three windows of opportunity, and I didn't take hold of a single one of them.

And I will find the enemy within,

'Cause I can feel it crawling beneath my skin.

One more opportunity looms. It's there for the taking. And this time, I'm not gonna make excuses for myself. It's just me, candybar, and God.

But what happens if it doesn't go as planned? I don't want to risk our friendship.

Again, too shy to ask, too proud to lose.

I guess there's no way around it. It's only by opening the box, that I can find out whether the cat is alive or dead.

Why does every post have to sound so sad? This isn't a real representative of me. I'm not emo, I'm just introspective.

It's time to seize the day.

Somewhere, far beyond this world.

I feel nothing anymore.