The cycle.

Okay, my third post for the night. Reason why I didn't just merge everything into one post? Because all three posts have different messages, and if I threw them all together, it'll just be one incoherent mess, leaving both you and me confused. Now, that's not what we want, is it?

I've been moving in a cycle. For many things. But there's this one that I want to write down, just to remind myself of it in the future.

It's the cycle of failed love.

Stage One. Initial Attraction.

You talk to her, she talks to you. It may happen the first time you see that person, it may be a delayed process. But inevitably, it will happen. And you can't do anything to stop it. You find every single thing that person does to be cute/charming/funny/(insert adjective here). you find yourself thinking of that person almost all the time. This is Stage One.

Stage Two. Progression Of Relationships.

You try to get to know that person better. You chat more often, sometimes everyday. You try to find reasons to be around that person. You find yourself drawn more and more into that spinning vortex, getting your head giddy with the feeling of ecstasy. You find yourself doing things you wouldn't usually do, just to get a conversation topic with that person. This is Stage Two.

Stage Three. Realization.

You find that there's others in his/her life. You think you know everything, but you find that what you know, is only a small and insignificant part of his/her life. You try to do anything to get yourself out of that zone,doing stupid things to get his/her attention. This is Stage Three.

Stage Four. Desperation.

Despite your best efforts, it's clear that he/she is not interested in you. In fact, he/she's probably interested in one of your friends instead of you. At this point, you're probably desperate for just a little of his/her attention. This is Stage Four.

Stage Five. Failure, Depression, and Acceptance.

He/she goes out with another person, they get attached, you fall into a deep depression, for about a week to a month. You get over it, accept the fact that they're not gonna be with you, at least for now, and move on to someone else, restarting the cycle. This is Stage Five.

Of course, not all relationships follow this crappy made-up cycle I came up with. In fact, I'm willing to bet that less than 20% of all romantic relationships come under this cycle. But why am I still writing about it? It's just to remind myself, because whether I like it or not, I always find myself being dragged down into this cycle. This post's gonna be a reminder, of what's gonna happen, and the steps I need to take to stop it.

I just hope this current one's not gonna suffer the same fate as those before it.

I don't ever want to forget that smile.

4.31 AM