For Whom The Bell Tolls.

Was running through my email inbox after reading Alex's post. Felt I needed to get rid of some of that 2526 unread emails.

Saw this one from Shaun that struck me. It's a pretty long email, but one part stood out.

Title's kewl, caught my attention.

God says, It's Over, with a smile.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what my purpose is? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.

This 3 sentences struck me, made me wonder. Recently I've been feeling off, wondering about everything, basically everything that paragraph said. And I was looking for answers. I prayed to Him, but nothing came out. I started to doubt everything. Then, I saw this. I don't know if this counts as a revelation in my spiritual life, but it means something to me. God answered. And I can count on him to answer everything else.

WDS and Cmaths tomorrow! It's gonna be one hell of a ride, after studying from like 3pm-2am. I've never worked this hard before, but I'm loving it.

Quest For Fire.

And I'm getting it again. Those visions. Those dreams, about the end.Thoughts about the  Apocalypse, of Armageddon. Yet, I still have regrets. Things not being done. People I haven't loved. Places yet to go. What if tomorrow was too late? Would there be anybody to be there for me, reassuring me that it's gonna be alright?

I need direction. Need to find that compass in my life. Find out what I'm living for, what I'm supposed to do. Search for what matters. Find the end to aim towards.

This is the end where I begin.

"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more Death. Neither sorrow, nor crying. Neither shall there be any more pain; for the former things are passed away."

Book of Revelations,Chapter 21, Verse 4

Lord, help me.

Impend.

My mum had this incredulous look on her face when I told her I flew. Doesn't anyone believe me?

I've got this feeling that something's gonna happen. I don't know what, I don't know why, don't know how, don't know when. I just feel something's gonna happen. And I'm beginning to regret it. Not living my life to the fullest. Not saying everything I wanted to say. Not doing everything I needed to do. Not loving everyone who loved me, and that feeling sucks.  I just hope that whatever's gonna happen, it had better happen soon. I hate waiting.

Lord,help me, I can't change.

If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be travelling on, now,
'Cause there's too many places I've got to see.
But, if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.

Bye, bye, its been a sweet love.
Though this feeling I can't change.
But please don't take it badly,
'Cause Lord knows I'm to blame.
But, if I stayed here with you girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you'll never change.
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.
Lord help me, I can't change.

Freebird-Lynyrd Skynyrd

Lyrics for this song's short, but the song lasts for 9 minutes and 7 seconds.

Today was a fun day, mainly because of soccer. It's funny, how your emotions fluctuate from sadness, to rage, then to satisfaction. Yeah, I guess that's what made this day fun. Satisfaction.

And I foretold the future today! Sort of.Okay scenario first.

Deric, Kenn and I were in KAP, having dinner.

Kenn met one of his coursemates there, Deborah(I think it's spelt that way), and Deric was like," Her face very familiar."

I immediately said" From your primary school one!"

Deric and Kenn were skeptical,and came up with other theories.

Long story short, she was his P1-5 classmate, and I was right. Sort of.

Speaking of coincidences, I don't believe in them. I think everything happens for a reason, why we so happened to meet this person today, why we find strangers that have the exact same interests as us. That person we meet may be our life partner, and the stranger we found may turn out to be a lifelong friend.Variables just don't seem right in life.

Read this article in the papers today, written by Sumiko Tan. It's about bingeing.

This set of sentences caught my eye, cause it totally reminded me of me.

"I, on the other hand, fall into the category of people -mostly women- who have a more complex relationship with food. Food isn't just food, but both a friend and a foe. I love it, I need it, I don't want it, it is both a comfort and a crutch." Essentially summarized the main point of the article in 3 sentences. And doesn't that really sound like me?

I like how these journalists manage to turn a ordinary mundane thing such as bingeing, into something that makes you think. And that's above their normal work as reporters and editors. Another reason I'm so into the communications world.

Read the horoscope in the exact same paper, and this is what it said about my star sign Cancer.

"Unless you have piles of important work to pore through today, you should have a pleasant dawdling and dreaming about what could be. Your daydreams are closer to reality than you think."

I'd so like to believe the above. If only horoscopes offer any truth to anything they said.

If you know me well, you'd know I am a comic freak!

Why do I love comics so much? Well, it's the way the characters are portrayed. How they're still humans, inside, whatever powers or brains they may have. How they are forced to make ends meet while keeping evil,( or creating evil, for that matter) at bay. How they still can live through everything, after all that bloodshed and wars. How they can lead two lives, but still come out as one single person.

Compared to Japanese manga, where most characters are dreadfully shallow, and their next boyfriends/girlfriends are considered "pressing matters", and where they don't care about anything about their actions or the consequences.

Also, American comics provide a perspective into "superpowers". What ordinary people would do with them. Would they use them for good, cross into the rivers of villainy, or walk the morally gray line? How would these powers affect them, and how long would it be before these extraordinary people become extraordinary dangerous?

Damn, that was a real long post. Hope this makes up for the long weeks of inactivity. (:

I want that dream again.

What'll you do when you get lonely
And nobody's waiting by your side?

I see a red door and I want to paint it black.

Ohmy, music cycle's going one whole round again. I'm back to where I started.

For those not in the know, I'm talking about the music I listen to. Cycle started in late Sec 2 I think, when I just found Breaking Benjamin. Went through bands and genres, before I finally found salvation in Iron Maiden!

Speaking of salvation, I wanna go watch Terminator: Salvation, even though I have no idea what it's about. Looks kewl.

I'm addicted to Breaking Benjamin again! If I had one wish, I wish Breaking Benjamin and Iron Maiden would come to Singapore for a concert. I'll die happy then.

I've never been to a real concert, unless you count Planetshakers, which was, to me, just an excuse for New Creation to boost membership. None of the bands which I really want to see live are coming, which sucks, cause if I don't go to a metal concert at least once in my life, I'm a failure.

Watched Star Trek yesterday.Syad and Deric found it okay, I thought it was fantastic! I love how they included Leonard Nimroy inside this movie as well. Chris Pine was great, he pulls off that anti-hero characterization with little effort. And Zach Quinto was awesome. But I'm too used to seeing him as a super-powered serial killer, and half-expected him to TK Kirk when they were fighting. Oh well. Heroes withdrawal.

It's one of those movies that doesn't disappoint, unlike Hancock. That was a real waste of time.

Best scene was when Zach went "Live long and prosper" to the council, with that sardonic voice. Extremely Sylar-ish.

Die, how did I go from music to Star Trek?

Buskerssssssssssss.

Just got home from a eventful MRT ride. See, there was this bunch of Malay kids sitting on the floor, playing 5 Stones, and generally taking up too much space. I spent like my whole journey observing them, cause I'm a pedophile and gay not.  They had this innocence about them, something which I miss.I miss the times when I didn't know anything about the world, and lived alongside Wolverine and Gambit figurines. I miss the times when hanging out with friends meant going to the void deck and rolling down slopes, getting dirty as hell. I miss the times when liking girls meant you were different, and disgusting.

I miss the times when I could just be myself, and not bother about anyone else.

I've been spending much recently, $30++ on a meal with a pretty girl, donated $10 to an ex-convict for 5 pens which I'll probably never use, and another $5 to a busker. There goes my savings.

I donate to buskers,not to beggars. There's a difference between them. And to me, there's no difference whether I donate $5 or 50 cents. It's the thought that counts, anyway.

Beggars are those that do nothing, and expect to get other's loose change. So what if you are missing a leg and an eye? That's life, get over it. You can't live on pity forever.

Buskers, on the other hand, put in time and effort to put on a performance for complete strangers, hoping to get something out of it. They may not be disabled, and some may even hold normal jobs. But they put in effort, and it shows. 

Buskers are also generally much nicer people compared to beggars. When you out a $2 note in a beggar's basket, some stare at you as if asking," Why did you put only $2 when you have a $10 note inside your wallet?"

Buskers, on the other hand, look you in the eye, and say "Thank you very much!" There's this sense of warmth from them, perhaps due to their frequent interaction with people.

Raaaaaah. 3 more days to Friday, and I'm still stuck on that drawing thingy. Die much.