The Heart Of Worship.

Something else occurred to me today, during worship.

For a long time, I've been really been motivated by worship. But I realized, I'm being motivated by the wrong things.

Lyrics, riffs, beats. All these musical aspects aren't what worship is about. That's what many of us get wrong.

Worship, in the simplest terms, is to praise the Lord, in anyway possible. It's just that the most prevalent form is musical, and that's where the lines begin to blur.

We can just be humming, or speaking words. As long as we have the right motive, to praise God, it's still considered worship.

We can have great guitarists, drummers, vocalists, bassists and all that, but if we're just there to sing the songs, and not realize the true meaning of worship, we're no different from an audience at a rock concert.

Bringing ourselves back to the heart of worship. To truly praise God, through anyway available to us, be it song, dance, poems, or even thoughts. To not get emotionally enchanted by the music, and forget the true meaning behind it all.

We always forget that the Devil is always lurking, even in "holy" places such as churches. He manipulates us, making us believe in the song instead of the praise.

We need to have that heart, that willpower to see through everything, and to find the true heart of worship.

Finding a heart to truly, bless His name.

No Leaf Clover

Today was pretty much awesome. Church, soccer, gay talk with buddies,Iron Maiden & Metallica to sing me to sleep.

I reflected on the sermon Zhan Feng shared with us during cell. While I don't agree with the fact that such drastic action is needed to gain entry into the Kingdom of Heaven, I feel that a lifestyle of repentance is one that every Christian should adopt.

Just like how a leaf will catch flame when put through a fire. It's exactly the same for us. After experiencing the power of Christ in our lives, we have to change, set alight by His Holy Flame.

Another reason to why I don't agree with the sermon. I don't think it's our acts itself that define our place in Heaven. I mean, if we start turning away from sin with the sole purpose of not wanting to be in Hell, isn't that wrong?

Our motives for turning away from sin should be to please God, not to gain entry into His Kingdom. That entry is already guaranteed, after Jesus died on the Cross for the sins of man, and us accepting Him as our Saviour. Turning away from sin should be a natural reaction to that, to shun what God hates, to take ourselves out of our worldly values because this is our purpose, to seek God and to glorify Him through our actions and words.

Surely faith without action is dead. That is key. We can't just live out our lives as carnal Christians, still living in the ways of the world, dwelling in sin.

We have to change ourselves, after being set aflame by His holy flame.

To Tame A Land.

O God of earth and altar,

Bow down and hear our cry,

Our earthly rulers falter,

Our people drift and die;

The walls of gold entomb us,

The swords of scorn divide,

Take not thy thunder from us,

But take away our pride.

From all that terror teaches,

From lies of tongue and pen,

From all the easy speeches

That comfort cruel men,

From sale and profanation

Of honour and the sword,

From sleep and from damnation,

Deliver us, good Lord.

Tie in a living tether

The prince and priest and thrall,

Bind all our lives together,

Smite us and save us all;

In ire and exultation

Aflame with faith, and free,

Lift up a living nation,

A single sword to thee.

Revelations.

Came to me with a serpents kiss

As the eye of the sun rose on her lips

Moonlight catches silver tears that I cry

I'm quite satisfied today, not because I got a lot of stuff done, but because I spent time with people I neglected, but found again.

It's nice to know that after 6 years, even though we've all changed drastically, we're still the same people underneath, all playing our usual roles in this social Venn diagram.

An easy way for the blind to go

A clever path for the fools who know

The secret of the hanged man, the smile on his lips

There's not much time left, I'd better hurry if I'm gonna make it.

Home Port

I think I'm the only mad person to go running at 3.45AM.

Still, the running cleared my mind, gave me a clear path. All thanks to God.

How I Met Your Mother's been pretty awesome lately, although the Mother's gotta be pretty hot to beat Rachel Bilson. I can only think of three women that would qualify.

Said this rather long prayer to God after my run, and I think that's a real sincere prayer. One that doesn't hold any motives behind it, just to thank Him for everything He's done in my life.

Right now, I'm just thankful that He brought me back safely, and for everything He put into my life.

I really need to get some sleep.

4.54AM

One

There's just so much I want to say, but I just can't get my head on order. It's that retarded sensation where you just can't make head or tail of anything in your head, and the only real emotion that you feel is confusion.

I've been moving around quite a bit these few days. So much has happened, in so little time.

I remember the times when my granddad used to take me on long bus rides around Singapore. He'd carry me, sometimes on his shoulders, and take me out to explore the world. Only now, am I appreciating what he's done for me.

He'd hold my hand, carry me onto that bus, to wherever it went, just for the journey, and sometimes destination.

I remember one place I'd always want to go with him. Changi Airport. Little me loved airplanes and air-conditioning, so yeah. He'd always take me to the staff food court for lunch. He'd bring me onto the Skytrain next, place me at the window where I pretended to be a racecar driver. He'd walk with me to the viewing point, where I'd run down the hallway with the airplanes as they were taking off. He'd bring me to a coffeeplace, where he'd drink his cup of coffee slowly, and I'd climb onto the aquariums and try to scare the fishes inside.

These are the times I miss. The innocence of youth. Before the eventual corruption.

On a happier note, rainy night again! :D:D:D 2 nights ago, but who cares.

I originally wanted to dedicate a post to my brother, but I'll do that another time. Not in the right frame of mind to give him a proper ode. This post's for my grandfather instead!

Ah Kong, thank you for bringing me up so lovingly, even when I've been a real pain in the ass to you. Thank you for bringing me to my first movie, for buying me all those toys, for introducing me to music, for teaching me about life's lessons, for starting this love for food, for that love for long bus rides, and for every single thing you've done in my life. I know you probably won't read this, but thank you. You're one of the three people in my life that really changed who I am for the better, and there's so much more I want to dedicate to you.

Imitation's the best form of flattery, or so they say. With that in mind, I'm gonna live a life that flatters my grandpa, one that shows who he truly is, one that gives thanks for all that work that he's done in my life.

I love you, Ah Kong.

That thing that should not be.

Downloaded this album recently. One of the better ones that I've listened to in a long time. I love the way metal and classical music can fuse together, to make such a masterpiece.

I've got a lack of motivation at the moment, and I've got no idea why. This sucks. I need to find something else to take up my time.

Argh, negative emotions again. I need to play some music, listening just isn't good enough.

It's halfway through January and I've got to get myself going, I'm not gonna do achieve anything by sitting here.

Kinda looking forward to the end of the week, meeting up with old friends and all that. Makes me feel nostalgic. Always a good thing.

Been dreaming a lot, & I don't know what to make of these visions I have. There's hardly any meaning behind all those moving pictures and myriad of colors. I pray that I find the meanings and the messages that He wants me to know.

I need to stop being so worked up, learn to relax.

God answers prayer.

Truly, God answers prayer.

I think I've finally found closure on this matter, thanks be to God.

The sermon today really struck me. It sounded as if it was planned by God. His message to me.

And through all this, I can't do anything else, but kneel in the in the presence of God.

The enemy has been defeated,

And death couldn't hold You down.

The intersession and prayer session was good. I'm glad I went for it.

Revealing His plan to me, one step at a time.

Speak to me , O God, for your servant is listening.

Soccer made me realize a lot of things. There's nothing stopping me from getting to where I want to be. I just need that self-confidence in myself, and faith in God. Everything else will follow.

And I think I've decoded that dream.

• Dreams are Symbolic.

If you dream about some particular subject it is not often that the dream is about that. Dreams speak in a deeply symbolic language. Whatever symbol your dream picks on it is most unlikely to be a symbol for itself.

It's got nothing to do with Pulau Ubin, a childhood sweetheart, or earthly love.

It's the story of how He drew me closer to Him, bit by bit.

I think it's a gift. Dreaming. And interpreting those dreams. Really goes to show that there really are hidden messages, just waiting to be found, waiting to be heard.

Lord, bring me to that secret place. That area where I am alone, and truly, listening, and understanding You.

2.08AM

Emotions.

I'm quite.. confused now. I had a pretty decent day, by my standards, but the night just ruined it for me.

I think I should stop pointing other's mistakes out, makes me seem pretentious and arrogant.

But why can't others just realize when they're wrong and change? It isn't that hard, is it?

Arrgh, arrogant little berks. Time to let my emotions go and let God handle the rest.

It's just one of those days where your emotions just go all over the place. I'm ecstatic for fifteen minutes, angry for five, and feeling pretty much melancholic for the rest of the night.

I need to learn how to stop judging. Who am I to pass any judgement on others, when I'm as imperfect as any other out there.

On a less emotional note, I'm quite proud of myself. I managed to get though the lesson without any major problems.

But I still haven't gone through the notes for tomorrow's lesson. I just don't think I'm in the right frame of mind now to focus.

Argh, this sucks. I'm just rambling on and on about stupid stuff. I told myself I'm not gonna do this when I started this blog, it's the exact same path I headed down when I was blogging on my previous blog, a hellhole of rants and negative emotions.

I don't bother if someone else judges me, as long as they have sufficient evidence behind it. It's unfounded accusations that trigger me off.

Sigh, negative emotions again, I need to let all this anger go and let God take control.

It's not easy. I feel like giving up. This is when I really need You now, God. Speak to me. Show me what to do.

No one ever said it would be so hard.

Say what you want,

do what you feel.

Cause those that mind don't matter,

And those that matter don't mind.

I think I got my answer.

NJ Legion Iced Tea

Live, fight

Crawl back inside

Sick, blind

Love left behind.

I'm convinced that I can't buy anything even remotely healthy from the coffeeshop below my house.

Once again, iTunes decided to play around with my playlists again. Songs about love, romance, blah blah, you get the drift.

Well, I got the inspiration I needed, thank God. It's just the matter of putting thoughts to paper, or Notepad, in my case.

It's always gonna be an uphill battle.

• Dreams are Symbolic.

If you dream about some particular subject it is not often that the dream is about that. Dreams speak in a deeply symbolic language. Whatever symbol your dream picks on it is most unlikely to be a symbol for itself.

Came across this article about dreams online. Made me start thinking about dreams all over again, and the one I had last night.

It's been a real long time since I had a dream as real as this one, and I'm glad it happened when it did. Gives me hope, belief in this emotion called love.

Living for the only thing I know.

I'm actually getting really anxious for this Saturday, bad memories are coming in. I'm afraid I'm gonna say the wrong things, I'm afraid I'm not gonna cover the text properly, I'm afraid.

I'm just gonna put my trust in Him, and count on Him to provide, just like how He did on Sunday.

I'm falling even more in love with You

Letting go of all I've held onto

I'm standing here until You make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with You

I'm kinda disappointed at myself for not doing more to improve our relations, but I'm sure it'll all work out. So many opportunities, and I wasted almost every single one of them. Oh well, get well soon, and good luck with that assignment yeah? (:

Damn, this download's taking forever to complete.

I'm becoming a monster,

Just like you;

After it all,

You'll try to break me too.

Falling forever,

Chasing dreams.

I brought you to life so I can hear you scream.

She's Hearing Voices

The time has come to close your eyes

Still the wind and rain

For the one who will be King

The Watcher in the ring

-Revelations, Iron Maiden

Somehow, I don't feel as drained as I expected. I've either,

(a) Not done enough work in the past two days

(b) Been refreshed and made new in the Lord

Somehow, I think it's a combination of both.

Things to do:

Send email and application

Complete portfolio!

edmund HG. Graymalkin. but i tell u at the end of it all

edmund HG. Graymalkin. your understanding of God will grow and it's gna be an awesome experience

Amen.

I thank God for placing people around me, to help me grow in His word, to glorify His name.

I thank god for placing me around certain people, to help them grow, to show them the way, to introduce Him into their lives.

I thank God for giving me the opportunity to live in eternal life with Him.

When the technicality overrides emotions.

iTunes decided to grow a brain on it's own, and started to play songs that basically had the same meaning,

Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own- U2

You Are Not Alone-Micheal Jackson

You're Not Alone-Saosin

Stand By Me-Ben E King

You'll Be In My Heart-Phil Collins

I guess, it's just God's way of showing me that He'll always be there for me, whatever it is, under any circumstance, any day, any time.

I'm just amazed by how He can devote so much for me, when I've done pretty much nothing to deserve all this.

Come stop your crying, it will be alright

Just take my hand, hold it tight

I will protect you from all around you

I will be here, don't you cry

Amazing love.

Sleep well.

The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.

-Luke 3:9

When Judgement Day comes, will I be cast aside as a fruitless tree, one without worth?

It's these nights when I really hear Him speaking to me, letting me know His will, bit by bit.

And I know it's not the full picture, it's just a small part in the canvas that is His Kingdom.

I'm just happy to be a part of it.

I've been reading a lot, and something struck me about Judas' betrayal. Was it predestined, God's will, or was the betrayal done out of human will? Something to discuss about with the cell this Saturday.

I'm enjoying working, for a change. Not normal work, not a job, just something to occupy me. Preparing Bible studies, writing essays, compiling my portfolio. It's good to do something other than stare at the computer screen.

Say goodnight.

After everything has changed.

It's gonna be one hell of a week. But I know, that God will bring me through it safely.

Today just set the bar for awesomeness in 2010.

Service was great! Worship, sermon, every single thing just fell into place. I like how Pastor Kenneth used music to get his message across.

Leading the Sec Ones was quite fulfilling. Honestly, I had a lot of self-confidence issues. Bad memories from the last time I led, nerves, self-doubt and all those obstacles the Devil puts in our ways.But after the prayer, I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders, literally. I felt as if it was not I who taught them God's word, but God himself.

I don't know how to explain this in human terms, but it was as if He really took over.

Complete surrender.

A melancholy town where we never smile.

To Do List for this week:

1)Hand in DAE application

2)Complete my awesome portfolio

3)Prepare for Bible study with the cell group

4)Prepare for Discovery with the kids

5)Pray

6)Have faith

7)Glorify Him in whatever I do.

I'm having something of a writer's block, can't find inspiration for my essay. But I will have faith in Him, and trust in His Daily Bread. He will provide.

Trust and obey.

Windmill, Windmill for the land.

Turn forever hand in hand

Take it all in on your stride

It is sinking, falling down

Love forever, love is free

Let's turn forever you and me

Windmill, windmill for the land

Is everybody in?

Revival.

12.10AM

Service in sacrifice.

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?

You are not your own, you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

1 Corinthians 19-20

Note to self: Wake up.

Next week's gonna be hectic, I'm gonna start on my portfolio! And with God's grace, I will get though it okay.

Undisclosed Desires

God will make a way,

When there seems to be no way.

He works in ways we cannot see.

He will make a way for me.

He will be my Guide,

Hold me closely to His side.

With love and strength for each new day,

He will make a way.

He will make a way.

Today was a very good day. I found God speaking to me in the most unlikely of places, from the least expected of people.

And when he spoke, I listened. I think I did.

Brought my brother around for SP and NP's open houses today, and it felt good. To help others. Without expecting anything in return.

A door has opened up for me, somehow. Another opportunity. There for the taking. I guess God really didn't leave anything out, and he made sure that today was fruitful. Thank You, God.

As today passed, I grew confident. Maybe a little too confident, believing in my own abilities rather than have faith in Him. And when that happened, the door shut. One of them, anyway. Just reminds me that I can't rely on my own strength, and it's only through Him, that I can succeed.

I don't know if this is the right path for me, but I will have faith. In His will, His way for me.

But that doesn't mean I can just slack off and expect Him to provide. I need to do my part, for things to fall into place.

You're all I want,

You're all I need.

I'm amazed by the love parents have for their children. All those times, when I betrayed my parents's trust, lied to them, wasted their time and money. After all of that, they still support me, give me a roof over my head, and love me. It's only now, that I understand all the pains they've gone through, just to give me the best.

All that, and I've done nothing to even begin to repay them.

Now, I truly understand the real meaning of family.

& although the path ahead of me may be foggy, filled with doubt and anxiety, I know, that there'll always be people supporting me.

And whatever it is, God will make a way.

On a lighter note, I'm glad to say that there's finally some headway on the Snickers Conundrum. It's not much, but it'll do for now.

I realize that my blog posts are really, more than anything, reflecting on my current state of mind. Now that my heart's fully set on God, almost every post has Christian undertones. Sweet eh?

Yes, I may not be a perfect Christian, but I'm trying my best. Besides, no one ever reaches that peak, that hallowed area of perfection.

And considering the circumstances, I think I'm doing pretty well.

Sorry for the messy content in this post, there's just too many emotions coming out from me now, and I need someway to release it. I promise it won't be like this the next time.

Miss Sarajevo

I've been looking through my Facebook history, just reminiscing about the past.

I came across a few quizzes I took, supposedly to know more about me.

There's quite a bit, scroll down if you don't want to be bored.

Heng Guang took the The Subconscious Quiz quiz and the result is The Drama Queen

You are most likely to be a dreamer, a drama and a flirt. You relish attention and the finer things in life. The grass always seems greener on the other side and you will never stop moving on and heading for the next goal or challange. When it comes to problems you usually hope they'll eventually just go away and you tend to put most things off till tomorrow, so there is more time for you naturally darling! Friends are drawn to you because you dive into situations head first causing a big splash and send waves throughout your networks. If there's any gossip it usually includes you or was made up by you. You must tame your wild side so that work can actually go ahead, living for today is fine, but be careful not to burn the candle at both ends or you'll end up sad and alone - your two most hated things.

Heng Guang took the WHAT MOUSEHUNT CHEESE ARE YOU? quiz and the result is Radioactive Blue

You're rather eccentric, but in a good way. You're quirky and witty, not easy to make friends with, but when you do, your friendship shines like a radioactive glow. Like Radioacitve Blue, you're hard to get, but well relied upon.

Heng Guang discovered his Chinese Astrology sign is The Metal Sheep!

Brief Description : Sheep are often elegant and artistic and like to be part of a group. They are good with people but tend to step off on the wrong foot.

Positive Traits : appealing, altruistic, creative, empathetic, intuitive, generous, artless, gentle, romantic, sensitive, compliant, candid and self-effacing darlings

Negative Traits : self-pitying, pessimistic, fugitive, parasitic, vengeful, lazy, indecisive, contentious, violent, capricious, irresponsible, tardy, careless, bigoted, nasty little pieces of work

Heng Guang viewed his Love Zodiac Profile for the zodiac sign Cancer.

If you are Cancer:

You crave for more and more love. You are very emotional and very romantic. There are no bounds in love for your partner. You tend to have relationships that do not last for a long time. You are devoted and a gentle-hearted lover. You pour your everything in a relationship. Sentiments are very important for you. You do not go overboard in displaying your romantic feelings but you ensure that the object of your affection knows how much you care for them.

To attract you, the opposite sex must be:

expressive, sensitive, romantic, intimate, etc.

You are more compatible with - Cancer, Capricorn, Scorpio, Pisces

You are less compatible with -Aries, Gemini, Sagittarius

Heng Guang took the quiz Your Ice Cream Personality and the result is Wild

You are a bit of a bragger. Your personality is larger than life - and you really enjoy showing off.

You are the type of person who likes to throw caution to the wind. You only live once, so you're going to live as large as possible. You are definitely a wild one!

You are a very open minded, liberal, and flexible person. You love many things. You tend to have tastes that range from down home to cosmopolitan.

You tend to have a one track mind. You prefer not to multitask.

You are fun loving and sweet. You tend to enjoy joking around and teasing people.

I told myself to take all those results with a pinch of salt, it's all just humor.

But I realize, now, that they reflect me quite well.

NOTE: All spelling/punctuation errors above are not mine, I merely copied them from the original page itself.

I think I'm spending too much time on the computer, I find myself trying to Ctrl-F whatever I can't find.

When you cry, I'll wipe away all of your tears

If you scream, I'll fight away all of your fears

And I'll hold your hand, through all of these years.

You'll have all of me.

Second part of Heroes was quite good, I loved the speech Peter made about Nathan. Makes me wonder if Bing Huii's gonna give me such an eulogy.

I don't think I'll be updating as much from now on, I'll be blogging only when I really feel the need to.

Besides, I guess these lengthy posts should be enough to keep you company!

I had this conversation with Alden, Alex and Zhan Feng during church camp, about our ideal girl.

I'm not gonna talk about the rest, private and confidential hehe.

I had quite a few guidelines for mine, here goes.

1.Christian.

2.Appreciates/tolerates metal.

3.Animal lover.

4. Preferably redheaded.

5.Accepts me for who I am.

6.Able to talk about almost anything under the sun.

Funnily enough, I wasn't thinking of her when I listed it then. Thinking about it now, she really does fit into all the above criteria.

But I'm not taking anything for granted, I'll just let Him take control, and I'll see where it goes.

Even if it doesn't work out, I'm sure He will provide.

And no, I'm not attached, although I sound like I am. I'm just feeling the love that the world's pouring out. It feels good.

Too young to live without hope.

I was beginning to see, though, that the unknown wasn’t always the greatest fear.The people who know you best can be the riskier, because the words they say and the things they think have the potential to not only be scary, but true as well.

- Just Listen by Sarah Dessen

I swear, tumblr-surfing's taking too much of my time.

It's nice to kick back, and take things slow for a

while. Takes your mind off all those inevitable monkey wrenches that life throws at you.

Because I'll never let this go,

But I can't find the words to tell you.

First episode of Heroes for 2010 wasn't that bad, but it wasn't that good either. Young Samuel and Joseph were cool, however.

Slash's guitar solos always find a way to take my mind off stuff.

I'm kinda looking forward to Sunday, can't wait to teach the kids. I just pray that I'll be able to have the confidence and wisdom to teach them the right things.

Wait. I'm not the one teaching them. God's the one. I'm nothing but His tool, to further His work.

That's it. It's all about You.

Time to stop living in a world of "what ifs". It's time to go out, and take control.

The Pursuit Of Happyness

It's amazing how things without words can convey so much emotions. Stuff like pictures, guitar solos, scenery and the natural environment. Makes us wonder just how much our words really mean.

To laugh often and much;

To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;

To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;

To appreciate beauty;

To find the best in others;

To leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;

To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.

This is the meaning of success.

It's nice to see that there are people who share the exact same interests, and have the same view to life as you. These are the sort of people I live to meet. And I believe I've already met one such person, I just hope that our friendship grows stronger with every passing day.

Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion’s starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don’t see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it’s not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it’s always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaking suspicion… love actually is all around.

-PRIME MINISTER, LOVE ACTUALLY

I don't feel like saying much now, I'll rely on quotes I found lying around on the Internet.

There is no person in the world who is made to handle every punch that’s thrown at them. We aren’t made that way. In fact, we’re made to get mad, upset, sad, be hurt, stumble and fall. We aren’t supposed to be able to handle everything. But that’s what makes us stronger in the end, by learning from the things that hurt us most.

-UNKNOWN

It's times like these, and these selfless people that help me believe in the power of love. Not romantic love between lovers, but love in it's purest, most basic form. Love for one another, love for the world around us, love for everything.

Right now, I'm just thankful I'm alive, and lived long enough to see this day. If I'm not thankful for this, what else can I be thankful for?

Today's been good, but it's not only the good days that make life worth living. It's everything, all the pain, happiness, suffering, joy, trauma, hope and everything else that makes life, truly what it is.

Thank You, God for making this world a truly, beautiful place, and for giving me a chance to enjoy it.

Dance Of Death

I'm stumped on how I'm supposed to start this blog post. Wait, I just did!

It's been an eventful weekend, and I thank God for bringing me through it with patience, wisdom and faith.

Meeting the Sec Ones was quite nice, some really reminded me of myself when I was younger.

Honestly, I had a lot of doubts when coming for this camp. It was the first time I ever saw the kids, and I totally didn't know who to talk to them, to interact with them, to be their friends.

But when we all sat there at the pantry, I felt calmness come over me. I felt truly, at home with them.

Yeah, there were some awkward moments, but generally, I think I managed to reach out to them, starting this 6-year mentorship.

Spending time with the rest of the cell group was great, especially that night when we just got together and created music. It's funny how people from totally different backgrounds can come together, bonded by music.

And Edmund's rendition of "The Scientist" was awesome. Seriously.

In a world beyond controlling,

Are you gonna deny the Savior

Right before your eyes?

I'm glad I came into this camp with the right mentality. That frame of mind. Gives me a focus, something to reach toward.

On the other hand, it was extremely amusing to see all of us trying our best to set a good example for the kids. Hoho.

YY's birthday celebration was the bomb. Literally.! An aural assault of high pitched noises and sugar highs.

This self-discovery,

Redemption taking hold of my mind.

Keeping my mind on the goal, to live a life in His image.

Sermon on Sunday itself was extremely engaging. Tried my best to keep myself alert during the whole service.

I want to change myself, not just to be a role model to the kids. I want to be a living testimony for Him, and the changes He's done in my life. I don't want to be a different person on Sundays, and revert back to the crude person I was before.

I am merely a tool, used my God to further His Kingdom on Earth. I've always take Him for granted, asking Him for help, only when I need it, using Him for my own goals.

I need to let go, have faith in His plan for me, let Him use me as His tool.

Let go, let God.

I hope the rest of January continues to be just as good. But even if it's not, I will have faith.

Speak to me, God, show me Your way.

The Second Coming.

Turning and turning in the widening gyre

The falcon cannot hear the falconer;

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere

The ceremony of innocence is drowned;

The best lack all conviction, while the worst

Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;

Surely the Second Coming is at hand.

The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out

When a vast image out of Spritus Mundi

Troubles my sight:

somewhere in the sands of the desert

A shape with lion body and the head of a man,

A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,

Is moving its slow thighs,

while all about it

Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.

The darkness drops again;

but now I know

That twenty centuries of stony sleep

were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,

And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,

Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

The Unwinding Cable Car

Emotive, unstable,

You're like an unwinding cable car.

Listening for voices,

But it's the choices that make us who we are.

This New Year's day been pretty static, I've not been doing much, both physically and spiritually.

The watchnight service was quite good, I found myself picking up loads of stuff from it.

It was nice to see Deric coming for the service, I honestly hope he comes more regularly.

Living without scheming. Giving it all to God. Having faith. That's what I need to learn.

On a lighter note, Skype conversations with the gang have been pretty funny of late. The top 10 countdown, gorilla aggro, and Kenn's live performance of "Somewhere Only We Know". I'm glad this is the group of people I'll be growing with.

Camp tomorrow! I know it's gonna be good, 'cause God said so!

Speak for yourself,

You paper tigers.

You'll crash where you stand,

You've got a riot on your hands.